thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(Source: sofiajonze, via heliolisk)

reichenbatchhero:

im so hooked on muggleborns fucking shit up with pop culture references

dumbledore warns for something with the words “very dangerous” and around the great hall you hear scattered “much frightening” “such peril”

snape gets really fuckin pissed off at a kid named luke and roars “LUKE!!!” and luke stands up and screams back “I AM YOUR FATHER”

mcgonagall catches students doing something against hogwart’s rules and yells “WHY?” and one kid goes “M C A”

(via oberymartell)

cerulean-tmp:

nonespark:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

wintercoffin:

brotoro:

cherryblossomsparkle:

did-you-kno:

Source

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ACTUALLY
THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY 

he was 100% against preaching to unwilling people, too, and all for bringing religion into the lives of those who wanted it. he would often say that those who pray loudly in front of others were the worst kind of believers

what a cool dude

it makes me sad when people mischaracterize jesus like he was literally the nicest dude ever like he could be anyones bff if he tried because he was so rad like i hate christians who make him seem rude like lol no stopv

YES YES YES.
this is because the pharisees would go out into public, get on their knees, and pray where everyone could see them.
because they wanted everyone to see how good they were and how pious, because they were sort of religious authority.
but jesus came and told people to do the opposite, because he wanted them to be humble.
because God wants you to be devoted to a relationship with Him, not to be devoted to making sure others think highly of you.
jesus also encouraged people to do good deeds quietly, or even anonymously.
because he wanted you to do good deeds for the sake of others, not for how good it’ll make you feel or for others to praise you.
jesus was the absolute coolest and i fucking hate it when anyone points fingers at a certain group of people and says “GOD HATES-” NO HE DOESN’T.
THAT WAS HIS WHOLE THING. HE LITERALLY LOVED EVERYONE. ????

This is the type of Christianity and Christians that I like.

cerulean-tmp:

nonespark:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

wintercoffin:

brotoro:

cherryblossomsparkle:

did-you-kno:

Source

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ACTUALLY

THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY 

he was 100% against preaching to unwilling people, too, and all for bringing religion into the lives of those who wanted it. he would often say that those who pray loudly in front of others were the worst kind of believers

what a cool dude

it makes me sad when people mischaracterize jesus like he was literally the nicest dude ever like he could be anyones bff if he tried because he was so rad like 
i hate christians who make him seem rude like lol no stopv

YES YES YES.

this is because the pharisees would go out into public, get on their knees, and pray where everyone could see them.

because they wanted everyone to see how good they were and how pious, because they were sort of religious authority.

but jesus came and told people to do the opposite, because he wanted them to be humble.

because God wants you to be devoted to a relationship with Him, not to be devoted to making sure others think highly of you.

jesus also encouraged people to do good deeds quietly, or even anonymously.

because he wanted you to do good deeds for the sake of others, not for how good it’ll make you feel or for others to praise you.

jesus was the absolute coolest and i fucking hate it when anyone points fingers at a certain group of people and says “GOD HATES-” NO HE DOESN’T.

THAT WAS HIS WHOLE THING. HE LITERALLY LOVED EVERYONE. ????

This is the type of Christianity and Christians that I like.

(via oberymartell)

godtie:

DO YOU HAVE SHORT HAIR??

IS YOUR SHORT HAIR STRAIGHT AND DOESNT HAVE VOLUME?

DO YOU WANT VOLUPTUOUS WAVY HAIR LIKE ALL THOSE OTHER CUTE KIDS WITH SHORT HAIR?

DO YOU WANT HAIR LIKE THOSE CUTE ASS PICTURES OF ME ABOVE THIS?

THEN BOY DO I HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU

image

THIS SHIT IS THE GODDAMN BEES KNEES

FOR LONG HAIR IT MAKES THAT SHIT ALL WAVY BUT DAMN CAN THIS BE USED FOR SHORT HAIR. IT GIVES IT TEXTURE. IT GIVES IT VOLUME. IT MAKES IT GODDAMN WAVY AND BEAUTIFUL.

BEST WAY TO DO IT? TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE BED, SPRAY THIS SHIT ALL UP IN YOUR HAIR, BLOWDRY THAT SHIT TILL ITS ALL DRY WITH YOUR HEAD UPSIDEDOWN, THEN SLEEP ON THAT MOTHER FUCKER LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS. THE MORE BED HEAD THE BETTER.

WAKE UP AND TAME THAT SHIT WITH YOUR FINGERS. YOURE GOOD TO GO FOR THE DAY FRIEND AND YOUR HAIR WILL LOOK FLAWLESS AND WAVY ALL GODDAMN DAY CONGRATS

BEST PART? THIS SHIT IS LIKE $5.

(THIS COMPANY ALSO MAKES A DAMN GOOD DRY SHAMPOO FOR THE DAYS WHERE YOU JUST DONT WANNA SHOWER BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREASY AS FUCK. THIS COMPANY IS THE SHIT SO FAR AND I WANNA TRY MORE OF THEIR PRODUCTS AND PLAN TO.)

(via stripping-with-freckled-jesus)

ref